Hogwarts Star Radio
by Luna Bass
Summary: There is a radio show exclusively for Hogwarts students. This is the story of how it, and its enigmatic host, pull Hogwarts through a war. Reader-Interactive!


The date is the 30th of October, 1994, and you are a Hogwarts student.

Everywhere for the past week, on practically every public wall in the school, there have been signs posted, simply saying: **196.7 WM, Sunday evenings at 8.** The number, to your and everyone else's knowledge, is a station on the Wizarding Wireless Network that hasn't been taken yet. There are any number of other exciting new things going on at school, especially this year, but the signs are so plain and mysterious that you can't help but wonder. You've asked the professors about them, and they don't know who put them up either.

So, it being Sunday, eight o' clock, and the whole school having been curious about this new station being advertised at Hogwarts, you tell your housemates to quiet down, and you turn your wand to the common room radio.

For half a minute, there is only silence. As you start to wonder whether you dialed in correctly, you hear the shuffling of papers.

Elsewhere in the castle, in a dark, sound-proofed closet, a young woman in Muggle clothes clears her throat and adjusts the magical headphones over her ears. She leans forward, close to the small screen between her and the microphone, and plants a sweet, seductive smile on her face as she dives into the role she's prepared for herself. In the warmest, most sultry and soothing voice she can manage, she purrs into the device.

_Hello everyone, and welcome, to the first-ever broadcast of the Hogwarts Star, your reliable source for school news. I'm Diamond Holiday, and I'm here to deliver your taste of the big, the interesting, the disturbing, right here at Hogwarts. _

_First, I'd like to extend a warm welcome to any listeners from Durmstrang or Beauxbatons, who have just arrived at Hogwarts today, to participate in an event we've all been looking eagerly forward to since it was first announced: the Triwizard Tournament. _

_As you all may have heard already, the Tournament is an ancient tradition between our three schools, and it's being revived this year, under promises to make it a safer practice, with only as much injury as our typical Quidditch game, and, hopefully, no deaths. If you're familiar with Quidditch games here at Hogwarts, you'll be about as reassured by that as I am – which is to say, not very much. To any hoping to become a champion in the Triwizard Tournament, from our beloved school or not: take care, and good luck._

_In other news, our new Defense Against the Dark Arts professor this year, beating out Professor Severus Snape for the position yet again, is Alastor "Mad-Eye" Moody, an infamous former Auror who already seems to be settling in with a positive fervor from the student populace, joining the ranks along with Professor Remus Lupin as one of the best and most popular Defense Professors Hogwarts has had in years. _

_But despite his many admirers, Professor Moody's conduct at Hogwarts has so far been odd, controversial, and even dangerous. Listeners may or may not know that a few weeks ago, he attempted to use Transfiguration, in this case turning a human being into a ferret, in order to punish fourth-year student Draco Malfoy for dueling in the halls; he even proceeded to levitate the student high into the air while still in animal form. Thanks to the timely intervention of Professor Minerva McGonnagal, Professor Moody's behavior was corrected, and Malfoy was punished in a more appropriate manner, but the fact remains that this was done, and a student was possibly traumatized. Under Magical Assault Law, this could have been interpreted as "intent to kill," and in my humble opinion, the professor is very lucky that both the school and Malfoy's guardians declined to press charges. _

_And that's not all, as many of you listening know well already. More recently, Professor Moody has been demonstrating the Unforgivable Curses in class – the three infamous spells that, in Britain, and if performed on a person, will condemn the caster to a lifetime in Azkaban Prison. Reportedly, the Defense Professor has been showing the effects of these curses to students as young as third year, but most concerningly, he has now apparently crossed the line of the law, and has been performing one of them __on__ students – the Imperius Curse. His given reason for doing this is to teach students to __fight__ the curse, something even trained Aurors regard with skepticism and consider very difficult to attempt, according to an anonymous source. _

_This is all done ostensibly with Headmaster Dumbledore's permission – or so Professor Moody claims. But __this__ student can't help but wonder if the Headmaster really knows what's going on in his Defense classrooms – or if the Ministry is aware of this year's Defense curriculum at all. _

_Moving on to something lighter: Professor Rubeus Hagrid of the Care of Magical Creatures department has apparently discovered an entirely new species of magical animal, which he has dubbed the "Blast-Ended Skrewt." This year he's generously debuting it, not to the magical zoology community at large, but to his students at Hogwarts first, allowing them the privilege of being the very first scholars to see what exciting discoveries this creature holds in store. _

_Finally, in student news, fourth-year Hermione Granger of Gryffindor House has attempted to start a new social welfare movement for house elves, under the perhaps unfortunately named Society for the Protection of Elfish Welfare, or S.P.E.W. Among the society's core values are the recognition of elfish personhood, the idea that house elves are the equals of wizards mentally and magically, and the concept that house elves innately deserve the same rights under the law that humans or goblins have. Granger's long-term goals are to get house-elves the right to vote, and the right to be paid for their labor. If you're at all interested or have any questions, you just contact Hermione Granger in person, or send her an owl. _

_And that's all we have for this week, friends. Thank you for listening to the Hogwarts Star, and tune in again next week, same time, same station, for the latest school news. If you have any questions you'd like addressed here, just owl them in, addressed to "Diamond Holiday of the Hogwarts Star Radio." I've been your host, Diamond Holiday, and I'll be back again, next time._

The voice stops speaking, and the audio cuts out, leaving only white noise. You shut off the radio with a wave of your wand, and the common room bursts into rapid, excited discussion. Only you are silent while pondering this new development.

The main question, of course, on everyone's mind, is this: who is Diamond Holiday?

In the commotion, you quietly slip up to your dormitory, sit down at your desk, and pull out a piece of parchment.


End file.
